Religion & Sex in our society
I have to admit I have some very strong views when it comes to religion; most especially the "Christian" religion as it's the one that I predominantly grew up with and therefore have every right to take issue with it.

Wars waged in the name of religion
Religious beliefs have been the cause of countless wars, murders, greed and sins too numerous to bother mentioning.  Don't get me wrong I'm very spiritual and I have faith in God, I just don't have a lot of faith in the Bible as being the ultimate word of God, if indeed it's the word of God at all.  Let us not forget who created our Bible.  King Constantine when he was aged and had moved the capital of Italy from Rome to Constantinople; he appointed St. Augustine to choose and determine ultimately which books would be included in the Bible. 

Christianity & Repression
Granted, it was not St. Augustine alone,  but he was the man in charge and;  at that he was of an old age long past his prime when in fact he himself was quite the "womanizer" of the day in his youth thru late life.  These were corrupt times, just as they are now; so yes I take the bible with a grain of salt.  I trust God, it's men I do not trust implicitly.  All of that being said, one doesn't have to look far to see the pattern of what these men in their old age decided would be best for all the rest of us for centuries to come.  Nicely laid out with oodles of guilt in what we call today our "Bible".   Organized religion is a business, it's also a way for people to share their beliefs together in unity and support.  However when spirituality is corrupted by the business of religion, it requires a closer assessment.

Religion and society have made repression an institution, or certainly have made every effort to do so.  While they pat men on the back for being the "player" , women are called sluts or whores.  I have been called that by one person and it amazed me; no one has that right to make that judgement call just because I choose to have a sex life;  I refuse to buy into the social stigma; why should I.  I'm old enough to have earned the right to do as I please and embrace it and enjoy it and be appreciative that it's MY right.

Emotional Trauma & Deviant Behavior
In terms of emotional trauma and deviant behavior, these too can be a result of deeply seeded repression and guilt created during childhood about sex, that sex is dirty, or that it's a task, or that it's only for the pleasure of one, the husband primarily.  Unless a woman is bold enough to embrace what is rightfully her's she will be the cat toy instead of the other way around.  It's a matter of perception, how you perceive the things that life has to offer.

I have a girlfriend that I met recently; she's  in her early 30's and is still of the "old fashioned" notion that women are not supposed to "mirror"  men in terms of sexual vices and  behaviors.   As we spoke, she relayed a story about a friend of her's, "Monica", and  that Monica wouldn't really date a guy more then 2 or 3 times, Monica truly appreciates, enjoys & genuinely loves  sex and the physical attention & connection it provided to her on her own terms, therefor she felt validated to have sexual encounters rather freely as long as she used protection. 

My girlfriend dropped her mouth in astonishment to say, "can you imagine, how could she do that, she doesn't realize what she's doing to herself, she's just giving herself away below value at no value in fact."   

I turned and replied very happily but casually, that Monica is empowering herself, she's not only embracing her free will, she is also exercising free will.  Monica was taking hold of what belongs to her (her body, her mind, her soul) to enjoy it  on her terms, why is that an issue?"  I asked her ?   Monica is not lying to anyone or cheating on anyone or deceiving anyone right?  Your telling me she relays that she's having fun and having orgasms and she's being sexually pleased, right?"  

My girlfriend sat there for a second assessing and weighing my words carefully before admitting that Monica is entitled to and  has the right to enjoy her body and express her sexuality without fear of judgement.  After which, we made a toast to the future, to free love , and to all the orgasms a woman can achieve by the time she reaches age 60;  and that's pretty much, where we left it;  as we clinked our wine glasses together for one last toast.

 The incomprehensible and bewildering aspect of this "piece", is that even in 2010, many women still seem to be making judgements about each other based on what limited knowledge they have of each others sex lives;  holding onto the outdated belief that we as women, don't have the same sexual rights, entitlements  or appetites that men have;   

A woman who, speaks openly, with resolute pride & self acceptance
A woman who has true self confidence will be comfortable in her own skin.    She has her own moral code to go by in life, she chooses to embrace her sensuality, to own it, to revel in it, and to enjoy it.    To live in the moment and appreciate it.     She discusses having sex on the first date or agree's to sleep with a man she doesn't know very well on the first date;   This is what our society considers to be, "break all the rules";  breaking all the taboo's, ignoring the advice of all the books and TV show critics, commentators and the like.   
 
Our social standards are intertwined into our Media try to convince women that casual or anonymous sex and/or  1 night stands;   will be degrading and demoralizing to them as well as devaluing them as a woman,  if they have 1 night stands or anonymous sexual fun.    They further imply that if a woman does behave in the manner,  then men wont take her seriously in terms of having a relationship when she decides that she wants one.  This is an outdated and inaccurate perception. 

Current  perception:
Women don't need an emotional bond just to enjoy sex.
In 2010  Many women  will publicly deny desires ,  or Issues with promiscuity and/or the desire for anonymous sex, 1 night stands.  Over the last several years I've noticed that for women who have infidelity issues or desires;  the concept of an affair (if there was to be a sexual indiscretion) is far more alluring and enticing vs. anonymous sexual encounters.   Our culture, our media and our society as a whole, has sold us this "concept" that women really need this "emotional" connection as part of a happy and healthy sexual life. 

 However, the truth for many of us who are not ashamed to admit it,  is far far different.  Some of us have watched generation after generation marry and divorce,  we know that  as an "institution" it's not reliable.   In fact, in the US I might even go so far as to say that our "social security benefits" are more reliable .   We are in no rush to remarry after a financially devastating divorce, we are not in need of a boyfriend underfoot 24/7.  There is no prince charming, there is no Mr. or Ms. Perfect;  

That's  a fantasy we've been sold as children, by every Disney Princess doll that we have ever bought or been bought.  We've been conditioned to look for our soul mate and to expect that there will be one.  For some of us, we are not waiting, we are embracing our sexual freedom & were empowered by it.   Enjoying every single moment that we can; and why shouldn't we. 

Why should women allow their own peers, and society to make them feel cheapened if they enjoy the same "sexual activities" as a man, without the social stigma of being called a Slut or a Whore.  There are some women who don't want the emotional ties; all they want is some spectacularly stellar sex; they don't want a donut when they are depressed or a pill, they want an orgasm. 

Avoid feeling "used", there's no shame in enjoying sex
Consider the following proposition, as long as both partners sexual needs and desires are being  respectfully met, there is no shame.  In having a woman's sexual desires satisfied, there is no shame, no one is being used, abused or mistreated.  There should be no shame; regardless if that lover is there for 1 night or 3 nights or 365 nights. 

Empowering Women
Empowerment comes to women when they realize that the body is only a vessel;  we choose who to the share that vessel with.   Empowerment comes from the mind and the soul.   We are the CEO's of our sexual lives and the truth is that  sometimes  women need a break from the emotional ties that bind;  they don't need to rush to fall in love again while they are on the rebound & they dont want the deception that comes with affairs.  At the same time, as I mentioned,  they desire some degree of physical sensual connection. 

 Sexual Persuasions
Considering the high risks associated with an affair, there is an "emotional" element or bond  that occurs to varying degree's along with the intimacy shared.  Measuring the downside of any affair is the risk that one of the partners could fall in love, or that both fall in love, someone typically gets caught, spouses are devastated when they find out,  families get destroyed, children's lives can be turned upside down;  Additionally, with an affair there is a massive amount of ongoing deception;

Two different animals - Love & Sex
Understanding that sex and love are in some cases, two very different animals; one may have nothing to do with the other while at the same time it may still be highly satisfying. Much has to do with our own perceptions and preconceived notions about sex as it relates to being loved.  In a sense "you are what you perceive yourself to be"  ;   If you perceive sex as dirty, then you will feel that you are dirty.  If you view it as an act of enjoyment and empowerment then you feel good about the experiences. 

On the Darker side:  BDSM-bondage/dominance, obsession, sex addiction
What many might call perversions and/or deviant desires that cannot seem to be quelled by their own sheer will .  Awhile back,  I came across a situation that would be considered an "alternative lifestyle"  (others may consider them deviant or perverse by our social standards).  It was an experience I wont soon forget because I was too close to the situation to see it clearly.   As a result, I looked past it so easily without really recognizing it for what it was.  It was an obsession.  For the record,  It isn't just men, it's women, it's married swingers, it's BDSM alternative lifestyle choices, all in a multitude of degree's from role playing on the fringes to being deeply addicted to it.  I know folks who have lost their jobs,  endangered lives, destroyed personal property, lost the respect of family, friends, trying to cope with the shame and guilt of being so completely out of control;
Many obsessions and sexual addictions can cause unstable emotional behavior that threatens life and property of others.

Alternative Lifestyles, Role play, Fetishists, Swingers, BDSM
BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sadism & Masochism) and some of the types of relationships that fall under BDSM are M/s and D/s relationships (ie;  Mistress & Slave or Dominant and submissive couples) and the varying degree's they can fall into as it gets more and more jaded and the persons life starts to spiral out of control.  Sexual addiction and/or obsessions can include such things as BDSM or swinging alternative lifestyles.  

BDSM RELATIONSHIPS, M/s & D/s, Mistress/Slave, Dominance & Submission, Master/slave, Godess worship
For me to be able to try and psychologically understand where my friend was coming from as a friend of mine had been approached by 2 male slaves (this is a chapter in it's own right) in anycase I had to personally research the subject in order for me to determine that they were not talking about role playing they were talking about lifestyle.  Some get addicted to the porn on the internet, some just get hooked on cybersex.  There are so many forms of deviant behavior, the revolving door of guilt and shame, and more repression as they have to hide it continually.  To what degree, in my opinion after years of experience, is that those kinds of addictions are truly hard to master they are as bad and as intense as any drug, the difference is they are far less talked about then actual drugs.  There are physical and financial abuses also associated with the above lifestyles, for example slaves who want to be abused financially, or physically, or they want to serve domestically, the range is mystifying.  Many want to be dominated and dehumanized, as a society when do we honestly look at these as the addictions that they truly are.  Why is society afraid to look at it, we barely even address it.

Flesh & Spirit
Sensuality and sexuality in a healthy form are meant to be enjoyed by both sex's.  I have no doubt spiritually that we were created to enjoy sex.  Have women forgotten that we had a sexual revolution over 40 yrs. ago?  Take hold of it, embrace it, own it and by all means enjoy it.   If a man or anyone other then a woman's best friend calls her a whore or a slut, he should be considered a psychopath in my humble view and avoided at all cost. An enlightened soul would not make such a truly Neanderthal comment.

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